Not His Normal Christmas
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: Season 1 Fic: Justin's first Christmas without his family.


**Title: **Not His Normal Christmas  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Pairing(s)Character(s):** Brian/Justin  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> None  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
><strong>Word Count: <strong>873  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Season 1 Fic: Justin's first Christmas without his family.

* * *

><p>Justin knows what his family is doing for the holidays. His mom and Molly are baking cookies together. His parents are decorating the tree while Molly writes a letter to Santa Claus. At the same time, she's refusing to HELP WITH the tree, citing it as totally uncool. They'll sing Christmas carols and laugh. Each will open one present on Christmas Eve and the rest of the presents will be open on Christmas Day. They'll have a turkey dinner and talk about what they enjoyed most about this year's holiday. All the while, they'll be pretending their family is complete, pretending they don't have a seventeen-year-old son who has been banished because he's gay and refuses to be ashamed of it.<p>

Ahh, the beauty of denial.

Justin knows the Liberty Avenue family is doing their best to make him feel included. Well, almost everyone. Michael still wishes Justin would just disappear and Ted is pretty indifferent. Brian's not one for holidays, so he too isn't doing much either. Everyone else though has been great.

Except it's not the same. They don't share the same traditions Justin knows, and it's just making him feel even more alone.

He wishes that just for one day, he could go back to being a recognizable member of the Taylor family, but he knows it's a useless wish, unless he renounces his gay lifestyle of course. And that's something that's never going to happen.

Everyone has gathered at Deb's for Christmas Eve. Even Brian has honored the family with his presence. Justin puts on a brave face, smiling the best he can. With the way Brian looks at him though, Justin knows he isn't doing a good job of faking his happiness. Thankfully, no one else seems to notice that he's not really that into the celebration that's happening.

He manages to sneak upstairs so he can mope in his bedroom. He lies down on the bed, ignoring all of the laughter that he can still hear through his closed door.

Justin closes his eyes, trying to forget he's not where he should be as a seventeen year old. He thinks about his sister and hopes she likes the present he got for her. Knowing he wouldn't be allowed to give it to her on Christmas Day, he handed it over to his mom to give to Molly. He just hopes his dad doesn't take it away from Molly just because it came from Justin. Hopefully, if he sees Molly's happiness about the present, Craig won't be an asshole and take it away from her.

He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't hear the bedroom door open. It isn't until the bed dips due to added WEIGHTthat he realizes he's no longer alone.

He OPENS his eyes and is not surprised to see Brian. He might put on a good show about not caring, but Brian was the only one who saw Justin's unhappiness.

"You should stop thinking about them."

Justin sits up, resting his back against the HEADBOARD. "That's hard to do. They're my family and it's my first Christmas without them. Even if they don't want me around, I miss them."

Brian nods. "I know it's not the same thing, but there's a whole bunch of people down there who want to spend Christmas with you."

"You're right. It's not the same thing."

Brian sighs but doesn't get up and stalk away like Justin thought he would. "I STARTED celebrating Christmas with the Novotnys when I was a teenager, too. If you let them, they'll make you forget about what you don't have and learn to appreciate what you do have."

Justin looks at his lap, thinking about Molly's gleeful expression and his mom's gentle eyes. Then he remembers Deb's joyous exuberance and Vic's gentle guidance. Justin knows how lucky he is to have them care about him. And they're not the only ones in the extended family who cares, and he knows it. One of the very caring individuals is sitting on the bed, waiting for Justin to realize Brian's right.

He looks up smiling. It's not a full 'Sunshine' smile, but it's a lot brighter than it had been downstairs. "Thanks, I think I needed to hear that."

Brian stands up, hands in his pockets and a smirk on his lips. "Come on then, Sunshine. Let's get back to the oh-so-great festivities."

"You don't fool me, Brian Kinney. I think you actually _enjoy_ celebrating Christmas."

"Keep telling yourself that," Brian says.

Justin reaches for Brian's neck and pulls him down for a kiss. It's kept relatively chaste. Well, chaste for them.

They pull away from each other. Brian's eyes are soft. It's a look that not many people are privileged enough to see. "Thanks," Justin whispers.

Brian rolls his eyes. "Come on."

Together, they head downstairs. Both of them know what the family is going to think about them being upstairs. Deb makes her usual jokes, Vic makes his innuendos, and Michael glares. Justin and Brian ignore it all, not telling anyone what was really happening upstairs. It's none of their business.

Justin decides to put aside his gloomy feelings and nostalgia, and just enjoy Christmas.


End file.
